


You're Gonna Go Far, Kid

by Xqueenie



Series: You're Gonna Go Far, Kid [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Dream Sex, F/M, Force Bond, Kylo Ren/Ben Solo dichotomy, Quasi-Jekyll and Hide Kylo and Ben, Seduction, Temptation, innapropriate use of the force
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-22
Updated: 2016-10-22
Packaged: 2018-08-23 23:54:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8347795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xqueenie/pseuds/Xqueenie
Summary: Kylo Ren. Ever since Starkiller Base, he's been there, at the back of Rey's mind. The bond between them is undeniable, but that doesn't mean Rey has to like it. He keeps trying to tempt her with the Dark Side, but there's something else calling out to her, and she's determined to find out what it is.





	

**Author's Note:**

> My newest Reylo story! It turned out a bit long, but I'm super proud of it!
> 
> (and guys, I'm SO sorry I haven't worked on my other Reylo fic, I'm really busy lately.)
> 
> Don't forget to follow me! [Tumblr](http://xandraqueen.tumblr.com) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/XandraQueen)

_ “Rey.” _

She knew that voice. It was as if it were a part of her somehow, the deepest darkness at the recesses of the back of her mind, pulling her attention across the galaxy to a pair of intense dark eyes, lit up red by a crackling saber.

She felt her body toss and turn in her little cot, but her mind felt detached from it, like she was floating on another plane while her body slept.

Suddenly, she was in the snow. The dark trunks of trees clawed at the bleak black sky, and off in the distance, fires raged out of control. It was the first time she had seen snow in her entire life, and she couldn’t enjoy it. No, there was something she needed to do-- something very important--

_ Duck! _ Her instincts screamed at her. She nearly gave herself vertigo getting out of the way of the red arc of light that came screeching toward her. Her first thought was to grab for her staff, but then she remembered: it wouldn’t do anything against this. She couldn’t even feel the strap of her staff at her shoulder-- was it even there?

No, but there was a weapon in her hand. A lightsaber.

Now she knew where she was. In the snow, on Starkiller Base, facing off against Kylo Ren. A little side note, Finn was laying in the snow somewhere behind her, probably dying. That’s why she was fighting: Kylo Ren had killed Han Solo before her very eyes, she wasn’t going to let him do that to her only friend left in the galaxy. 

She was terrified. All those years she spent learning, teaching herself how to survive, how to scavenge, and how to defend herself on Jakku, and now, standing in the snow on Starkiller Base, it was all useless. Not a single one of her five thousand, four hundred and fifty-three days in the desert junkyard had prepared her for this. 

She scrambled back up from the ground with her lightsaber in hand, and he seems to let her get up and face him before swinging at her again.  _ Maybe he thinks he’s a gentleman _ , she thinks bitterly as she blocks another attack. The ground rumbles beneath them, and trees crack and tumble as the ground splits open fifty feet away. 

Rey is ready to fight him off, but Kylo Ren stops his advance.

_ Rey, _ There’s that voice again. It’s his, but his lips are sealed shut.  _ I don’t want to fight you. _ She felt him inside her head again, the same way he had been just hours ago.

“Get out of my head!” She snarled at him.

Oddly enough, he complied--well, partly. “You are greater than you believe!” He shouted at her, his lightsaber no longer poised to attack. “If you learn to use your power, if you learn how to use the Force-- you could bring the galaxy to its knees!”

Rey gripped her saber tighter.  _ This is a trick, he’s trying to get you to let your guard down _ .

Ren gave her a ghost of an amused smile. It was obvious he’d heard what she was thinking, but instead of contesting it, he deactivated his lightsaber. Surprised, Rey lowered hers, if only slightly. 

“Join me, Rey,” He continued, stepping more towards her, with his hand extended, intending to gesture her towards him, “You need a teacher. I can show you the ways of the Force.”

She hesitated only for a second, then brought her saber up again, and charged him. He only had a second to react, lighting his saber back up and blocking her advance.

“You’re a monster!” She screamed, tears forming at her eyes, “And I will  _ never  _ join you!”

The last thing she saw were his eyes, wild and betrayed, before the ground opened up beneath her and she fell. 

She thought that might bring her back to consciousness, but The Force had other ideas. 

She stopped falling, and when she could finally see, it was as if she could see the entire galaxy at once. Hundreds of thousands of star systems, spread out in front of her. She reached out a hand, and the stars began to move, the spiral arms stretching out and pulling back like the gentle waves of the ocean. She felt more at peace than she ever had been; than she ever thought she could feel at all. And the voice was there again, rumbling next to her ear:

“Look out, Rey,” she felt Kylo Ren wrap one arm around her waist, and the other around her shoulders, pressing up against her back, “Everything you see, every point of light? Each and every one is a star that answers to you and me. It’s all  _ ours _ , to do with as we please...” The arm around her waist moved to cover her own outstretched hand, their fingers curling around each other. “Let me teach you, and I can give you everything you’ve ever wanted and more.”

Rey had a hard time finding her voice. “I don’t… I don’t want the galaxy-”

“No,” He purred, “but you want to know who you are. You want a home, a family. You want to have a place in the universe, somewhere you’re needed and loved.”

She could feel tears running down her cheeks. “I…” She couldn’t answer. She squeezed her eyes shut and willed for the dream to just be over. 

When she opened her eyes again, she was staring at the ceiling of her little room on Ach-to. As if it would put her as far from that dream as possible, she threw her blanket off and stood up from her bed. She needed to meditate, and quick. She needed to get these thoughts out of her head. 

It was just before dawn, when the night sky faded from black and full of stars, to deep purple and navy blue, and where the tiniest strip of light on the eastern horizon reflected off the crests of the ocean waves. 

Rey, not having bothered to put her hair up or put on more than what she slept in, sat down on a rock just next to the cliff. She straightened her back and crossed her legs, and attempted to calm her mind. Deep breath in, slow breath out. Focus on steady breathing. She felt herself drifting away, felt the Force flowing through her, then behind her eyes, she could see the bright day on Ach-to. Like most of her days had been and most of them will be, bright and cool and full of training and learning to use her powers. 

But then, she saw the skies growing dark again, and a bitter wind brought with it a chill that settled deeper than her bones, in the heart of her. A ship touched down on the other side of the island, and Rey didn’t even need to reach out with the Force to know who was disturbing her inner happy place. It was the only person who could ever disturb her while she was meditating.

“This island is much better than the one in your dreams.” She could feel Kylo Ren standing next to her on that rock, as if he were actually there. She just wanted to punch the backs of his knees and send him tumbling over the cliff.

“Oh come now. That’s not nice. And after those lovely dreams I worked so hard on giving to you? You didn’t even make it to the good parts.” 

Rey took another breath and tried to keep herself calm and silent. No anger, no fear. No rash, passionate lashing out. Peace and clarity, that was the Jedi way. And if she spoke to him, she would break the code in more ways than one.

“Ah, yes. ‘The Jedi Code’,” Ren chuckled, squatting next to her. His mask made his voice metallic, like the monster she saw him as. “You know, the Jedi’s strict rules is what helped wipe them out in the first place.”

“What do you want, monster?” She snapped at him, “I apparently already told you I’m not joining you. And nothing you can ‘offer’ me will change my mind.”

“You can keep telling yourself that, but remember, you can’t hide anything from me.” He reached out to brush a strand of her hair out of her face, “I wonder when you’ll realize that Skywalker’s training can only get you so far?”

This time, Rey was actually taken by surprise. “...what do you mean?”

Ren stood to his full height, mask turned to take in the view of the sea. “Your friends fear you, Rey. Perhaps they love you as their own, but give it time. As your power grows, the people around you will fear it-- fear you.”

“You don’t know-”

“Oh don’t I?” That mask turned on her again, and she could feel Ren’s anger boiling just below the surface. He squatted in front of her this time, gripping her chin in his hand. “Trust me, little scavenger. I know firsthand how it happens. And when you realize I’m right, I’ll be here, waiting for you.” He gave her a little shove backward, and she snapped out of her meditation. 

She rubbed at her chin, certain she could still feel her skin burning where he’d touched her. No, he was wrong. Her friends loved her, they’d never be scared of her. Kylo Ren was a murderer and a slave to the Dark Side; his only purpose in keeping in contact with her was to try and get her to follow him out of the Light, like a lamb to slaughter.

She shook the vision out of her head, pushed it all to the back of her mind, and stood from the rock. She could feel Luke stirring back at the hut, and figured he’d want to have breakfast with her before they began their day. 

When she made it back up to the shack, Luke was just starting tea. He smiled at her, and she attempted a smile back, but immediately he could tell something was bothering her. 

“Bad dreams last night?” He guessed. Rey nodded, knowing it was hopeless to try and hide things from him. 

“Kylo Ren,” she said sullenly, sitting down at the little table, “back on Starkiller Base, he… he wanted me to become his apprentice.”

Right away, Luke’s expression darkened. He was quiet for a long time, staring into the crackling fire in the hearth. 

“My nephew…” He began carefully, “He was always so worried about pleasing everyone else, even when he was little. He wanted to please my sister and Han, he wanted to please me, to impress the other padawans--” As the kettle began to squeal, Luke lifted it off the fire and began preparing cups of tea for the both of them. He sighed as they sat in and began sipping. “And Snoke- Leia always knew that he had an eye on Ben, I can’t believe that with all my training, all my hard work in learning about the Force, that I missed it.”

“You can’t blame all of that on yourself,” Rey spoke up, “He could have resisted!”

Luke gave her a sad look. “My dear, what you need to understand is that the Dark Side is not so easily resisted. I was tempted, once. It took all my strength and willpower to keep to what I had learned, to pull away from the Dark.”

“But if  _ Ben _ was so strong-”

“Rey,” Luke said softly, “you’ve told me about your time on Jakku. You know what it’s like to feel alone.”

He was right. Through the years, Rey had desperately clung to the hope that her family would come back for her, but over the course of fifteen years? She’d had many a night crying herself sick, because the fear that there was no one in the galaxy that actually wanted her had taken over. 

“We tried to make Ben feel loved, but by the time we realized he needed it, it was too late,” Luke continued, “Ben felt that, even being surrounded by people that loved him, no one  _ really _ wanted him around. His parents sent him to train with me when he was twenty-three, the oldest Jedi padawan ever. Back then… he didn’t even know about his lineage. Han and Leia thought it best to tell him when he was older, so he might understand that things aren’t so black and white in the Force, but...”

“He found out,” Rey guessed, “about… Darth Vader.”

Luke nodded. “Imagine. He already felt abandoned by his parents, he felt out-of-place as the oldest padawan among a bunch of children, then, come to find out, his grandfather was the fiercest Sith to ever have lived?” He shook his head, “Ben was devastated. That’s really when we lost him to the Dark Side.” He sighed, “He was the most powerful Force user I’d seen since… my father.”

Rey had to resist the urge to snort in contempt. She was sure that if Kylo Ren had heard that, he would be elated. 

Luke didn’t talk much about how Ben Solo used to be; he was still rather raw on the whole subject. But Rey remembered General Organa (who had asked Rey many times just to call her “Leia”) talking about her son like he was still around. She lit up with such hope when she talked about him, like she was sure he was coming back. Rey hadn’t had the heart to tell her that she’d seen in his mind; he didn’t have any desire to come back to the Light at all. 

_ “I’ll be waiting.” _

She wasn’t sure if that was just a memory of that dream, or if it was him actually trying to reach out, but she wanted more than anything to never hear his voice again. Every metallic syllable that came through that mask sent a shiver down her spine. His menacing form looming over her made her gut roil with fear and hatred. She didn’t want to bring him back, she wanted to get rid of him.

Luke must have sensed her distress and broke the silence between them. “How about we take a break from training, huh? We could go and visit our friends at the Resistance Base for a little while, to take your mind off this whole Kylo Ren business.”

Rey had a feeling that she might be hearing even more about Kylo Ren and the First Order if they went to the Resistance Base, but the prospect of seeing Finn and Poe again would definitely be worth it. She smiled at her teacher and nodded. 

* * *

The brilliant smile Finn gave her when she stepped off the Falcon and onto the base could have outshone the sun. “Rey!” 

“Finn!” Rey grinned right back at him as she leapt into a hug. It was so great to see her friend again. He was looking great; the last time she’d seen him, he was still recovering from his injuries sustained from Kylo Ren. 

Nope, don’t think about that. You’re here, now, with your friends. He doesn’t matter, he’s just a bad guy that you’ll have to fight. 

“It’s so good to see you!” Finn was saying as the two of them pulled back from the hug, “How’s training going?”

“Oh fine,” she said, shrugging, “just, you know. Finding my way with the Force and meditating and learning how to do cool spins with my lightsaber and all that.” Rey glanced over his shoulder and saw a little orange blur whirring towards her. “BB-8!” She grinned and ran over to squat in front of the droid, who let out a series of excited beeps. “It’s good to see you too!”

“He’s been practically dying to see you.” Rey stood up to welcome another hug from Poe Dameron, someone else she’d become friends with in her time since she’d left Jakku. “Good to see you again, Rey.”

“You too, Poe.” She chuckled as he locked an arm around her shoulders. 

“Well, I hope you guys are hungry,” Poe said, “cos I heard that the food tonight isn’t going to be terrible!”

“I’m always hungry.” Poe laughed at Rey’s remark, but she wasn’t kidding. “What?”

It hardly seemed like a military base that evening. Rey was more relaxed than she’d been in days-- but then again, any kink in her back or neck had gone right away when Chewie had hugged her. The wookie had been so happy to see her again he’d hardly allowed her to breathe for a good fifteen seconds.  But she and Luke were welcomed as if they were family returning home. 

The feeling didn’t last long for Rey, though.

They were eating, and Rey was listening to Finn tell a story about something he and Poe did, when she felt that presence at the back of her mind, the Force pulling her attention from where she was and dragging it to another part of the galaxy.

Her grip on her fork tightened when she saw  _ his _ face in her head, flushed red and contorted in pleasure. He wasn’t wearing his mask this time-- in fact, she was pretty sure he wasn’t wearing anything. It wasn’t too clear an image in her mind, more of a feeling, but that “feeling” quickly moved south to settle in her belly, and the image became clearer. Kylo, lying on his back in bed, stroking his fully erect cock. Her cheeks grew hot, and she glared down at her food, hoping the others at the table wouldn’t notice. 

Of all the things he could have been doing at that moment, this  _ had _ to be one of them? She chewed on her thumb, trying to think about anything else, but she had no control over it. It was as if it was planted in her mind--

On purpose. He was doing this on fucking purpose. 

She could feel him smirk through their connection.  _ “Very good, Rey.” _ His voice in her head was thick with arousal.  _ “You’re so… brilliant…” _

Rey growled, too low for anyone to hear.  _ You’re disgusting. _

_ “You think so?” _ Maker, his moans were making her feel so conflicted. Her insult only seemed to spur him on; something tightened in her gut. Was that another feeling put there by him? As much as she wanted to believe the feelings weren’t her own, they didn’t feel… unnatural. With every grunt, she was growing more and more aroused. 

And that made her angry.

How dare he make her feel like this. She didn’t like him. She didn’t  _ want _ to like him. There were better people in the galaxy that she could definitely stand to get interested in, why did it have to be him? 

_ “Power,” _ it wasn’t a question, but he answered her anyway.  _ “You’re like me, Rey, you desire power.” _

_ I’m nothing like you. I don’t want power- _

_ “You felt it.” _ Her stomach churned as he continued,  _ “On Starkiller Base. The power, the Force-- oh, fuck!” _ She wasn’t sure if it was his buildup or hers, but the feeling in her gut became impossibly tight, and she had to bite her lip to keep herself from making an embarrassing noise.

She desperately tried to keep her mind on other things-- other people she cared about. Literally anyone would be better than him. 

Finn, who was her first friend; who cared for her more than anyone ever had. Finn, who nearly died trying to protect her from Kylo Ren. Finn, the first person to come back for her after she’d been abandoned for so long. Or even Poe, who impressed her from the beginning with his remarkable skills as a pilot. Poe, who accepted her the instant they met, treated her like they’d known each other their whole lives, even if she’d known him less than a year. 

As she tried to think of the both of them as more than friends, she heard Kylo Ren growling dangerously in her head.

_ “Neither of them can give you what I can,”  _ he snarled,  _ “You need someone who’s at the same level as you-- someone… powerful-- ungh--” _

“Shut  _ UP!”  _

She realized only too late that she’d shouted it out loud, as Poe was in the middle of a story. There was a split second where everyone was quiet, and Finn stood up from across the table, concern written all over his features.

She stuttered, looking at each of their startled faces. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to- Poe, that wasn't because of you, I just-”

“It’s fine,” he brushed it off like it was no big deal, but Rey felt anxiety building in her chest, “What happened, did you have a vision or something?”

“Are you okay?” Finn asked, quickly moving around the table to attempt to comfort her. “I saw you pulling some weird faces.”

Rey shook her head. “I’m fine, I just-” His presence wasn’t gone. He was still there at the back of her mind, moaning lewdly and muttering her name. Her face grew hot and she saw red, her anger rumbling from somewhere deep inside her. She didn’t notice the lights in the dining hall flickering around her, and her friends beginning to take notice of her very obvious discomfort.

_ “Yes, give me your anger… I want it all…” _

They screamed at the same time, Rey with her eyes squeezed shut and palms pressed to her temples, and Kylo with his hips arched skyward. She heard the shattering of glass, and it took her opening her eyes again to realize that the sound hadn’t been in her imagination. Every glass sitting on the table they were at had shattered. She took a step back, looking at the shards of glass in horror. She looked up at her friends as they recovered from the incident, and she didn’t need to look in their faces to feel their rising level of fear. 

“Rey-” Finn’s voice did nothing to calm her, and she jumped back from his extended hand like a startled animal. 

“I…” She looked around again, at the rest of the dining hall, and every eye was trained on her. She saw Luke and Leia standing from the head table, regarding her with the very same look of shock and concern. 

Kylo Ren’s presence was fading now, but she felt him smirk at her and heard his voice one more time.

_ “They fear you. You’ll see.” _

Rey took one step back, and as Finn took another step toward her, she took off running. She heard him calling after her, but she didn’t stop until she reached her little room. She’d never run so fast in her life. The door slammed shut and she pressed her back against it, heart pounding and breath coming in ragged gasps. The gasps devolved into sobs, and tears poured down her cheeks as she covered her mouth. 

Had she really just done that? All her training, all the progress she’d supposedly made with Luke on Ach-to, and one little aggravating vision had made her lose every scrap of control she had. She could feel it, the Force exploding from her, unbidden. It was fucking horrifying, the amount of power she had bubbling in her somewhere.

_ Power _ . She didn’t want this power. She hadn’t wanted any of this in the first place; she just wanted to go home. She wanted to go back to Jakku. To live out her life as a scavenger, where nothing was complicated, where she didn’t have to worry about new rules or wars or Kylo fucking Ren. Maybe her family-- whoever they were-- maybe they weren’t coming back. Maybe they were dead. It didn’t matter, she wanted to go back to what she knew: to her AT-AT, her junkyard, her little desert plant and her speeder. Kylo Ren wanted power? He could have it. She wanted nothing to do with the Force ever again.

She slid to the floor, wrapping her arms around her legs and letting her head fall to her knees. Sobs shook her, but it was more than simple sadness. This was a tidal wave of emotion: anger, hatred, frustration with herself at being vulnerable to her enemy; longing for the home she’d known for fifteen years, hopelessness and fear that she’d never feel safe or in control of herself ever again. Fear also, that she’d set fire to the relationships she’d made, and everyone would leave her again-- and if she hadn’t done it yet, surely she would, if they feared her as Kylo Ren said. 

She only curled in tighter when a knock came at her door. “...what?”

“Rey?” Finn’s voice was soft. “It’s me. Can I come in?”

“...no.” She didn’t want him to see her like this. 

“Well… can we talk, at least? Through the door?”

She didn’t want to look in his head-- she didn’t want to have to do that to her friend-- but vulnerability made her look anyway. Just a peek, getting a feel for what his state of mind was. He was scared, just like the others had been in the dining hall, but a closer look told her that he wasn’t scared  _ of _ her. He was scared that she’d been hurt somehow, that she was going through more than she’d let on. He wanted to help, even though he knew he probably couldn’t, and maybe didn’t understand what she was going through with her training. He wanted to let her know that he was here for her, that she wasn’t alone. 

That calmed her down, at the very least. 

She stood to open the door, wiping her eyes. He stepped into the room, taking her shoulders and looking her over. 

“What happened, Rey?” He asked softly.

“I’m… I’m fine, Finn-”

“Come on, don’t lie to me,” he crossed his arms at her, giving her a stern (but still gentle) look, “I don’t need the Force to tell you’ve got something going on. Is it about your training?”

Rey sighed and sunk down to sit on her little cot. “Sort of… It’s about… Kylo Ren.”

Finn sat next to her, scowling. “Is this about what happened on Starkiller?”

Rey nodded. “You don’t remember, but… when I fought him, he offered to be my teacher. To ‘show me the ways of the Force’.”

“Well… what did you tell him?”

“At the time, I didn’t say anything,” Rey chuckled, “But I think that scar I gave him was a big enough ‘fuck off’, don’t you think?”

Finn laughed and nudged her with his shoulder, then his smile died a little bit. “Wait, so… what’s this got to do with what happened back in the dining hall?”

Rey sighed. “Something happened when he was interrogating me, Finn. Something I couldn’t explain at the time, but now I know it was because of the Force. The Force-- we’re connected now, I think, me and him. Because of The Force.”

Finn wrinkled his nose. “Connected? How?”

Rey felt her face get hot at the images now burned into the back of her mind. “Well… I hear his voice in my head sometimes. And the other night, he visited me in my dreams?”

“He visited you in your dreams,” Finn repeated, as if trying to make sense of it, “how do you know it was actually him and not your imagination?”

“I knew it was him.”

“But how?”

“I don’t know, I just...  _ felt it! _ ” Frustrated, Rey let her head fall to her hands. “I was trying to meditate, to go to a peaceful place, and there he was! Like the meditation was bringing me closer to him, instead of pulling me away from him and that dream like I wanted it to.” Her friend placed a comforting hand on her back, then quickly pulled her into a hug.

“You can beat him,” Finn told her, “You beat him before, when you had no training at all. Now, you’ve got almost a year of training with the best Jedi in the galaxy under your belt, and what’s he done? Ran and hid.” Rey managed a small laugh, and Finn continued: “You’re strong, Rey. You’ll make it through this.”

His confidence in her was flattering, but even though he seemed to believe that entirely, there was something in Rey’s gut telling her that it wasn’t going to be alright. Something was going to happen, something that she couldn’t stop.

And she had a feeling deep down in her gut that that ‘something’ was her. 

* * *

That night, Rey dreams of Ben Solo.

There is not only a visible difference in the man that appears before her, but the Force itself buzzing around him takes on a different feeling altogether. At first, she thinks it’s Kylo Ren, and her anger flares up again, but it calms back down after she takes a moment to really look at him. He looks much younger than Kylo did the last time she saw him, and there is no jagged scar stretching across his face. The wild, destructive fire that raged behind Kylo’s eyes isn’t there; it’s been replaced by a cool, calm flame that lights up when he sees Rey.

“Finally!” Rey freezes up when he surges forward to hug her. He holds her tight, pressing his cheek against her head. “Finally, I got through to you!”

Rey pushes him back, holding him at arm’s length to look him over. “...you’re not Kylo Ren?”

He looks at her sadly. “No. I’m- well, I’m who Kylo used to be. I’m Ben; Ben Solo. It’s nice to finally get to talk to you, Rey.”

She wants to ask how he knows her, but she realizes she already knows: Kylo knows her. So this tiny part of him, buried deeper in Kylo than Rey has been able to see, is calling out to her. He must have been there this whole time, locked up in the back of Kylo’s mind, watching him interact with her and hoping that maybe, just maybe, she could help him get back out. 

“So then… Leia was right,” Rey says, “there is still light in Kylo. You’re still alive in there-- inside him, I guess.”

Ben smiles at the mention of his mother. “I suppose that’s the best way to sum it up. Speaking of my-- speaking of Leia, how is she? And my Uncle?”

“She’s…” Rey hesitates. In all honesty, Leia hasn’t been doing too great since the loss of Han, but Rey doesn’t want to bring up that subject. Ben must have suffered enough already. “...better, than she was. Recovering.” Rey doesn’t need to mention what from, Ben understands, nodding solemnly. “And Luke-- well, I didn’t know how he was when you last saw him, but he’s fine too. He’s teaching me how to be a Jedi, but…” She trails off with a sigh.

“It doesn’t seem to be working.” Ben finishes for her, understanding once again. She gives him a look, and he nods. “Yeah, I felt the same when I was training with my uncle. He’s a very skilled and powerful Jedi, and not just because he’s the last. But even he doesn’t know how to handle powers as strong as ours.”

Rey rolls her eyes. “You’re starting to sound like Kylo.”

Ben winces and offers her an apologetic smile. “Sorry. It is true though-- he feels the same way I did. The same way you felt tonight.”

“How did you- oh,” she’s sure even in a dream, that she’s turning a lovely shade of pink, “you saw.”

To her surprise, the same blush appears on Ben’s cheeks as well. “Yeah, I saw. Sorry he did that to you.”

“It’s just… he frustrates me so much. Why won’t he just leave me alone?”

“It’s weird,” Ben says, taking a seat in the grass (was that there before?), “his reasons aren’t as sinister as you’d think.” He motions for her to sit next to him, and she takes a seat, curling her knees to her chest.

“Kylo is… volatile,” Ben continues, “he’s chaotic and extreme, but… like I said, I’m who he used to be. Who he is now grew from who I was; what I was.”

“...and what are you?”

Ben looks at her, and waits for her to look back at him before he answers: “Lonely.”

Rey’s heart sinks. What Luke said about Ben-- _ Imagine. He already felt abandoned by his parents, he felt out-of-place… then, come to find out, his grandfather was the fiercest Sith to ever have lived? Ben was devastated.  _

_ That’s when we really lost him to the Dark Side. _

“I think,” Ben continues, leaning back, “all this time, Kylo has just been looking for someone like him.”

“I’m not-”

Ben cuts her off, “Come on, Rey. Deny it all you want, but there are striking similarities between you two. Lonely, feeling abandoned by family, having to do a lot of growing up all on your own?”

Rey sighs. “It’s not like I chose this.”

Ben shrugged. “Hey, me either. I just wanted somewhere to belong, someone who understands. I didn’t want to end up alone.”

The truth sinks like a rock in Rey’s stomach. All those tally marks on her wall, the days spent in the sun, nights spent trying desperately to clear her mind of doubts and fears of being abandoned in that wretched place forever-- Ben was right. The two of them wanted the same things, and though she didn’t want to admit it, somewhere in the depths of Kylo’s black heart, he wanted it too. 

“Hey.” Ben’s voice is soft. She turns to look at him again, and his hand brushes her cheek. She’s shocked to actually feel it, as if he were really there. “Listen, Rey… you’re not alone. Even when you think the whole world’s turned against you, just… just- I know what it feels like, okay? And I don’t want anyone to feel that way ever again. Especially not you.” When Rey gives him a confused look, he sighs and leans forward to press the smallest, most innocent kiss on her cheek. “Look, kid, I… I just wanna let you know I’m here for you, okay? Even… if I’m not, really, you know, here.”

Rey’s cheek burns where he kissed it, but it was a good kind of burn, the kind that warms you from the inside and brings a surprised smile to your lips. It’s something she’s never felt before, and she wants to feel more of it. Without a second thought, she surges forward and returns the kiss with much more fervor. He’s caught off-guard for a moment, but he goes with it and moves closer to her. Their lip-lock continues as they keep moving closer together, Rey’s arms winding around Ben’s neck and Ben’s hands finding their way to her hips. Ben was the first to break away, pressing his forehead to hers.

“Kid,” Maker, that voice, “what are we doing?” Husky and soft, unlike anything she’s ever heard, something she never imagined. It sounds like the voice of Kylo Ren, but it’s different entirely. She likes it.

“I don’t know,” she says back, her voice just as soft, “but I like it.” 

Ben doesn’t say anything else, only chuckles as he shifts their position, laying her down and crawling over her. They’re pressed close, folded together like this is what they were made for. Rey’s thigh slides between Ben’s, and his face flushes as her leg hitches against the growing hardness in his pants. He gives a nervous chuckle, then his breathing gets heavier as she starts to rub.

“Rey-”

“Shhh,” she kisses his temple, threading her fingers through his hair. She doesn’t know why the hell she’s doing this, but she knows she wants to. 

He doesn’t pull away; in fact, he starts rocking his hips against her thigh, hiding his face in her neck. He loses himself in a rhythm, punctuating the heavy movements of his hips with kisses to Rey’s neck and jaw. He gets more and more erratic, moaning softly in her ear, until he goes rigid and lets out a grunt that sounds suspiciously like her name. 

He takes a pause to make sure he’s through his climax, then he wastes no time in yanking her pants down and crawling between her legs. She gasps at the sudden rush of air, covering her mouth in surprise as she looks down into those brown doe eyes, his pupils blown wide with lust. He begins kissing the insides of her thighs, trailing up one side, skipping the middle, then back down the other side. A low cry leaves her throat when his mouth meets with her wetness, and her head falls back as he practically tortures her with slow, methodical licks. 

Sparks dance between them as he slowly works her up, stroking her thighs and hips as he switches between licking and sucking at her most sensitive spots. She keens and moans, tangling her fingers in his hair as she gets closer and closer to the edge. It’s his fingers that send her over, flicking at her nub while he licks at the rest of her. She arches and cries out his name as she comes, and he gazes at her like she’s the most perfect thing he’s ever seen. They pause there, bliss circling between them, gazes locked together as they revel in the afterglow.

The feeling doesn’t last long. 

Ben’s face suddenly twists in fear and pain, and he pulls back, clutching his heart. Rey sits up and grips his shoulder, trying to discern what’s wrong, but Ben shakes his head.

“It’s… it’s Kylo,” He grunts, “He’s trying to call me back--” he breaks off into a yelp of pain, then manages to put a shaking hand over Rey’s. “Listen, Rey-- You need to find me again.”

“Find you? How?”

Ben struggled to give her a smile. “You’ll figure it out, kid. You’re just as powerful as he is. If there’s anyone in this galaxy-  _ ugh _ \- that can bring me back… it’s you.”

With those last two words, Rey’s dream shatters, and she wakes up in a cold sweat in her bed. 

Without even stopping to try and comprehend what just happened, Rey shot out of bed, yanked on the nearest clothes, and tore out of her room. She was still only half-awake, and wasn’t at all sure of what time it was, but she barreled into the main control room-- something told her Leia was there, despite the ungodly hour. The General was sitting at a holodesk, dressed like she should have been in bed: her hair was down, braided loosely over her shoulder, and she wore a white nightgown somewhat reminiscent of one she’d worn long ago, back during the Galactic Civil war.

Whatever she was looking at, she closed it before Rey could see. She stood from the holodesk, surprised and concerned to see Rey.

“Rey? Are you alright? What are you doing up so late?” She took Rey’s shoulders in her hands, trying to get her to calm down. Rey, panting, tried to form proper words to explain what just happened.

“I- Ben- had a dream- Kylo, he- you were  _ right-! _ ”

“Whoa, whoa, slow down,” Leia sat her down in a chair, then took a seat next to her, “What about B-” She looked visibly annoyed at herself before continuing, “What about… about Kylo Ren?”

“That’s just it,” Rey said, taking Leia’s hands, “it isn’t about Kylo Ren, it’s about  _ Ben! _ ” When Leia looked confused, Rey nodded. “I didn’t believe it at first either. But… I had a dream, about Ben. He… General, you were  _ right _ , Ben is still alive. He’s still in there, in-- Kylo. You were right, there  _ is _ still good in him.”  _ The fact that he ate me out after I rubbed him off notwithstanding. _

Watching the curiously stern look on Leia’s face melt nearly brought Rey to tears. She leaned over to hug the older woman, and could feel the happiness, surprise, and hope coming off her in waves. Leia hugged her back, not sure what to respond.

“He wants to come back,” Rey continued, “He told me… if there’s anyone in the galaxy that can do it, it’ll be me.”

“I believed that about Han,” Leia tightened her embrace, “I can tell… you really believe you can do it.”

Rey nodded. “He knows I understand. Don’t worry, General Organa. I’ll bring him back.” Then, softly, “Han won’t have died in vain.” They held each other, both shedding quiet tears, for a short time before Leia encouraged her to go back to bed. Rey allowed the General to walk her back to her room, but only laid in her bed, wide awake.

To get to Ben, Rey would have to get to Kylo first. But if she confronted him and tried to tell him to come back, that wouldn’t work. He would just shut down and refuse her. No, she had to earn his trust first, and hide her conversation with Ben, until she’d managed to figure out how to pull Ben back out of the dark place Kylo had shoved him into.

First, she had to contact Kylo.

She closed her eyes and tried to meditate, clearing her mind of everything except that little pull at the back of her head, that tiny string connecting her to him. 

_ “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” _

There he was, the bastard.

_ “Now, now. Language _ .” She heard him chuckle. “ _ What can I do for you this lovely night, hm?” _

_ I need to speak with you. In person. _

_ “That would be somewhat hard to accomplish. Even if I had your location, it would take-” _

_ Then make me dream again, you impossible prick, _ Rey thought angrily,  _ you did it so easily last time. _

_ “My, my. Someone’s rather demanding in the middle of the night. Fine. You have to relax first.” _

_ I am relaxed! _

_ “You are definitely not relaxed. Take some deep breaths and clear your mind. Focus on my voice.” _

That was one surefire way to get her very un-relaxed, but she tried taking breaths until her heart rate slowed down a little bit. Even just thinking about him had her all riled up. She had a sensation for a bit where it felt like she was falling, then it stopped.

_ “That’s it. Feel better?” _

Rey opened her eyes, and she found herself in a forest-- no, not just any forest. The forest on Takodana, where Kylo Ren had captured her for the first time. She recognized the outcropping of rocks, the trees, even the blue skies above. All the same. She was even wearing the same clothes as the last time she was there: her old scavenger outfit. 

“Feels like so long ago, doesn’t it?” He looked just as he had then: with his lightsaber drawn at his side and his eyes hidden behind his mask.

“Why have you brought me here?” She asked, her expression cold.

“I thought a neutral territory would be more well-suited to a conversation, no?”

Rey rolled her eyes. “It doesn’t matter  _ where _ we talk-”

“Oh no? Alright then.”

In the time it took for her to blink, the scenery changed, and she was suddenly standing in a room of polished black marble, with red neon lighting running along the walls and floor. A large bed was pushed into the corner, as if it were unimportant. 

This time, when Rey looked down at herself, she’d changed her look entirely. For some reason, she was wearing a nightgown made of pure white lace. She wore nothing on her feet, and her hair was down and pulled over her shoulder. 

“Is this better?” She looked over to the bed, where Kylo was lounging like an enormous cat. Instead of robes and his mask, he was dressed in hardly anything at all. No shirt, no shoes, just tight black pants that hardly looked comfortable to sleep in. His eyes were trained on her, and he kept his expression carefully calm.

“I- what’s the point of this?” She asked, crossing her arms in an attempt to cover herself a little more.

“What’s the point of waking up in the middle of the sleep cycle if I can’t have a little fun, hm?” He chuckled and stood from the bed, stalking over to her. She glared at him; oh no. She wasn’t going to let him have free reign this time. She closed her eyes and envisioned gripping her lightsaber, flicking the switch to turn it on-- and there it was, in her hand, buzzing with life. Even though it couldn’t hurt him in the dream, Kylo stepped back, frowning.

“I’m not here to  _ have fun _ ,” Rey said, using her saber as a barrier between them. “I’m going to talk, and you’re going to listen.”

Instead of the response she was hoping for, he simply laughed and held his arm out, stilling her movements.  It was as if they were once again back on Takodana, him holding her with such ease despite all her recent training. 

“That’s cute,” He chuckled, taking the saber from her grasp. He turned it off and tossed it across the room, taking the opportunity to (once again) invade her personal space. “But if you were trying to be threatening, near miss. Your threats lack passion, and aggression. If I really believed you had the capacity to attack me, O Wise Jedi Padawan, I might have given you the chance to say what you wanted.” Rey glared at him and struggled to force words out of her throat, but they didn’t come.

“Now, you’ll listen to me.” Kylo was right by her ear, his hot breath sending shivers down her spine. “Your power comes from passion, or else you couldn’t have defeated me. If you don’t harness it, more of these little…  _ incidents _ like what happened at dinner will happen more and more.”

_ Fuck you _ . If all she could do was think, then she’d damn well think.

“Mh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” He snickered in her ear, trailing a finger lightly down her arm. “Don’t even think about lying to me, I can see your dream in your mind.” Fuck. Fuck fuck fucking shit. “That’s right,  _ kid _ ,” the word sounded so much more sour on his tongue than it had Ben’s, “You liked that weakling so much, didn’t you?” He laughed this time. “Please. I’ll bet he didn’t even take you all the way.”

With that, her anger boiled over and she managed to break his hold on her. In the half second of freedom, she whirled around and slapped him clear across the face so hard he stumbled backward onto the bed. He was rubbing his cheek, but he had a wicked grin on his face.

“That’s it,” He laughed, “ _ that’s _ how you get me to listen.”

“Listen up then, you fucking prick,” she shouted at him, “Ben Solo is a better person than you’ll ever be!”

Kylo snorted at her. “A more moral one, perhaps. But not stronger, not smarter.”

Rey quirked an eyebrow at him and crossed her arms. “Really now? Because I kicked your ass before I even knew what the Force could really do. You’ve got the scar to prove it.”

This time, he was the one to get angry. He turned on her. “What does it matter anyway?! Your fantasy is all from  _ your _ mind, girl. Ben Solo is dead.”

Rey grinned at him. “That’s where you’re wrong, Kylo Ren. Ben Solo  _ is _ stronger than you. I felt him tonight, and don’t lie, you feel him too. I think  _ you’re _ the weak one.”

This time, he was right up in her face, looming over her and attempting to look intimidating. He growled like an animal, forcing her to step back until her back was pressed against the wall, but she didn’t back down. She glared at him in defiance, chest heaving from the tense air between them. 

“You want to test that, do you?” He snarled. “You wanted “Ben” so badly. Once you taste what I have to show you, you won’t even remember his name.”

Once again, she had not the slightest clue of why she was doing this, but hell if she was going to back down from this guy again. “Bring it on, Princess.”

He was on her in seconds, lips hot at her neck and hands holding tight to her waist like he thought she’d vanish when he touched her. She groaned and pulled at his hair, and he responded by moving his lips from her neck to her mouth, trying to devour her. Her fingernails dug into his scalp, and the way he fucking moaned sent shivers down her spine. 

Within the dream, they wouldn’t have even needed to bat an eye to remove their clothing, but Kylo seemed to take a certain sick pleasure in hiking up her imaginary nightgown, pressing his hips between her thighs and pinning her to the wall. He was all hands, as if trying to map out her entire body by touch alone.

“Beautiful…” He growled into her ear as his hand found its way between her legs. 

“Kriff off.” 

He laughed. She knew he wasn’t sincere, and he knew it too. That wasn’t what this was. She hated him, she thought he was weak, she wasn’t doing this because she thought he was attractive. 

“Come on,” he said, rubbing at her clit as he spoke and making her squirm, “you can hate me all you want, Rey, but there’s no denying your feelings.”

“If you keep talking, I swear to the  _ Maker- _ ” she cut off with a squeak as he slipped a finger into her. He quickly joined it with another, and Rey had to fight back her moans. It didn’t seem like long enough before he was pulling back out again. He lifted her up as if she weighed nothing at all, and practically tossed her on the bed like a pillow. When he was on her again, they were both naked. He parted her legs, leaning down to lick and bite at her thighs, before lining himself up with her. 

For a moment, he hesitated, looking at her for any sign of refusal. It was comforting, knowing that she was still in control of the situation, no matter what. She could end this in an instant, but what scared her more than anything was that she didn’t want to. He was looking for refusal, but he got a challenging stare back at him.

“Well?” She said, her voice soft, “Are you going to prove your point, or not?”

That fire behind his eyes reignited, and he didn’t need any other words of encouragement. He pressed in quickly, and Rey nearly broke the skin of his arm digging her nails in so hard. Her mouth stretched in a silent scream, but the pain didn’t subside when he stopped. It was a weird kind of pain, something she’d never felt before. Not the kind of pain where she would wish for nothing more than for it to stop, but where she craved more of it for the electric feeling it left behind when it ebbed. Kylo groaned and let his head fall onto the pillow above hers. His lips brushed her forehead, and his hands wrapped around her arms, keeping her still.

“ _ Fuck _ , kid.”

It sounded too much like Ben. It was wrong. Rey growled and bit at his throat, trying to get him out of it.

“Go on then,” she muttered, “I’m not made of glass, you know.”

He chuckled and kissed her temple. “No. You’re made of the stuff of stars. _ Power, _ ” he groaned as he pulled out just a little, “Your  _ power _ …” 

He was obsessed with her power. She was obsessed with their bond. Her emotions were peeled away as he started moving his hips, and the Force was alive between them. She was shaking, clinging to him as he thrust in and out of her, losing herself in the pleasure and the power radiating from him. She had lost control of everything, and for once, she was happy to let it happen. 

And when he pushed her over the edge, she fucking  _ screamed. _

She woke up hot, bothered, and ashamed of herself.

**Author's Note:**

> I forgot to mention! There will definitely be a sequel to this story, I have a plan for it. (It might be a while cos I work a lot, plus I'm also working on a novel at the moment.)


End file.
